Trust

Today I want to talk about Trust.

It’s a word we hear all the time.

• Trust the process.

• Trust your gym.

• Trust your coach.

• Trust.

But what does trust look like in competitive gymnastics? Or, more importantly, what should trust look like in the gym? What’s the difference between trust in the gym versus trust in the coach? Do you need both to be successful in competitive gymnastics?

Trust Relationships

First, let’s define what we mean by trust. According to my dictionary, trust means “having a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something [Oxford American Dictionary].” One of the things the definition tells me is that trust is between people or a person and a thing. The most common relationships in gymnastics are:

• coach and gymnast

• parent and coach

• parent and gymnast

• parent and ‘The Gym’

• coach and ‘The Gym’

But, wait, isn’t The Gym the same as the coaches? Not entirely, no. Suppose you’ve been in competitive gymnastics for more than just a little while. In that case, you recognize there are times when a coach and gym may have a difference of opinion - because they are separate. While they affect each other, your relationship with the coach is usually built upon your personal experiences with that specific coach.

I view ‘The Gym’ as the totality of all the people and experiences at that gym. That includes the impression of the building, the front desk staff, assistant coaches, head coaches, management, owners, etc. But, it also goes way beyond the individual people. The general organization and how it operates as its own entity also affect my trust in the organization.

Side note: anyone who has ever owned and run their own business understands a business is a *living and breathing separate entity that requires care, feeding, and attention, or it will suffer and eventually expire from neglect.*

Simply put, a business is more than the individuals that create and operate it. It builds its own separate trust with parents, gymnasts, and coaches. Organizational trust is the sum or totality of all their experiences with the company.

Four Corners of Trust

Now that we’ve established some of the trust relationships in competitive gymnastics let’s break down how Trust is built. Over the years, I’ve had many opportunities to learn about Trust - haven’t we all? From a very early age, we know who we can trust - and who we can’t. But what happens to form those Trust opinions? What actions build trust? What actions break down trust?

I’ve learned to look at trust as Four Corners that either build or tear down trust quickly.

The Four Corners of Trust are Competency, Compassion, Communication, and Consistency. While none of the Four Corners will build trust in isolation, together, they create a solid and trusting relationship.

Competency

Competency in competitive gymnastics is critical to building trust. Competency is the first corner in the Four Corners of Trust. Let’s break down what a competent and great coach looks like in gymnastics training.

A competent coach has been professional trained in coaching artistic gymnastics. They’ve shadowed and learned from professionals experienced in their division.

Great coaches attend hands-on spotting clinics for the levels they coach. By ‘hands-on’ spotting clinics, I mean their hands-on spotting techniques have been evaluated and corrected by someone trained in safely spotting skills for that event and level. There is a massive difference in spotting Level 4 bars and spotting drills for their first Pak Salto!

Competent coaches are prepared. They’re on time and ready for training with engaging and motivating lesson plans. Great coaches train progressive stations and drills that ladder previously taught skills. Progressive training builds confidence and success in gymnasts as they tackle more challenging and tougher skills. A trustworthy coach understands gymnastics progressions and uses them to their gymnasts’ advantage in the gym. Great coaches understand young girls need activity, motivation, encouragement, and structure to stay safe while training. A great coach’s lesson plans will address motivation through a combination of internal or external motivation factors. Goal setting, self-confidence building, and positive reinforcement are examples of internal motivating factors. External motivating factors include coach and/or gym recognition, rewards, gymnast of the month, score clubs, and other reward programs are designed to keep gymnasts motivated to train progressively.

Competent coaches develop effective rotations to maximize training time for gymnasts. During training, gymnasts should be active most of the time. Whether it’s on individual or partner stations, doing strength training or conditioning, or training their turn on an apparatus - they should almost always be doing something. If they’re spending a lot of their training time standing around, their coach isn’t maximizing their training time.

A competent gymnastics coach understands there needs to be a balance between perfecting and polishing routines while developing up-skills. Ideally, gymnasts are introduced to skills *at least a year or more* before they’re expected to compete them - even at the lowest levels. Acro and vault skills are trained 2-3 years before needing them in competition for higher levels. Great coaches know it takes time, repetitions, and consistency to build muscle memory. It’s a balance to keep gymnasts working on both perfecting current skills and developing up-skills.

Much of gymnastics isn’t about skills on the apparatus; it’s about physical and mental toughness. A supportive relationship between the coach and gymnast is critical to athlete success. Coaches may motivate their athletes to accomplish more than they thought possible, and athletes thrive on that support. A great coach knows that motivation will vary from individual to individual and understand them as a person. Knowing what makes a person want to be great helps the coach guide them to their potential. Great coaches build mental toughness in gymnasts through positive reinforcements, mental exercises, visualization, self-esteem building, and other positive coaching methods.

But what about “tough” coaching? There is nothing wrong with tough coaching. We expect great things from our athletes, as we should. But when an athlete’s concerns are dismissed, their trust relationship suffers. Coaches that use negative reinforcement or dismissive or misogynous language damage individuals and their trust. They can cause significant damage to young athletes as they develop and mature. Coaches that use level assignments or training levels as rewards and punishments hold their coaching power over the gymnast’s head. While occasionally addressing competitive levels can be motivating, using them to solely manipulate gymnast behavior can cross the line. If a coach doesn’t have the tools to positively coach, motivate and discipline their athletes, it may lead to emotional misconduct that can hurt or damage athletes.

Did you know SafeSport states, “emotional misconduct is one of the most common forms of misconduct by coaches” in any sport? As many as 75% of Elite athletes have suffered emotional abuse by their coaches.

Why? Fear gets results.

But the same, or better results, can be achieved with positive coaching methods that build athletes up.

Instead of breaking them down, building athletes up helps gymnasts feel emotionally supported to achieve their very best. Gymnasts thrive in a positive training environment to train and compete without fear of emotional distress.

Nevers

Let’s cover a few of the things coaches should *never* do.

• Coaches should never demean gymnasts. Language or expressions that demean or diminish accomplishments erode trust and self-esteem.

• Coaches should never shut down and refuse to talk to a gymnast - that’s emotional abuse. The coach is the adult and needs to be able to approach the situation as an adult. It’s understandable to be frustrated or annoyed. It’s not acceptable for the coach to act or talk meanly or in a way that the gymnast knows they are the source of the annoyance or frustration.

• Coaches should never use conditioning, exercise, or strength training as punishment. It’s unacceptable.

• Coaches should never tell a gymnast they will be there to spot them - and then NOT be there to spot. This erodes trust quickly! Gymnasts need to trust what their coaches say and do.

Know the Rules

Competent coaches (in USAG) know and understand the Code of Points (Xcel or DP) for their program and level. They know the values of skills for their event(s), the best skills to highlight a gymnast’s strengths, and the special requirements and difficulty restrictions. Compulsory coaches should know all of the alternate skills available to maximize gymnast’s scores at meets.

Remember, the Code of Points includes:

• special requirements (Xcel and Optionals) for each level

• potential deductions

• connections clarifications

• credit clarifications

• angle requirements

• example passes for acro and dance series in routines

How can you do a great job as a gymnastics coach in those leagues without knowing those things? You can’t. A good coach knows their COP.

A great coach also knows their Rules and Policies. The R&P sets the:

• age requirements

• entry requirements

• mobility rules

• apparatus minimums

• sanction rules

• meet director policies

• judging criteria and rating chart

• meet formats

• award rules

• petition procedures

• States, Regionals and Nationals authority

By understanding the COP and rules, great coaches can use them to their advantage.

Compassion

To build trust, Coaches and Gyms need to model and show compassion. Compassion is the second of the Four Corners of Trust. Compassion in gymnastics comes in many forms and in many different levels. Some coaches are “all-in” with their athletes and get to know them personally. Understanding their background, goals, and fears can help coaches to guide their athletes to their potential.

A compassionate coach may text the parent of a gymnast that never misses practice - but wasn’t at practice today. A compassionate coach listens the first time an athlete says they are in pain and works to find the source and solutions. Gymnasts injured and returning to the gym with a physical therapy plan should work positively with a compassionate coach who understands the importance of proper healing and progressive returns to sport. At no time should a returning gymnast be punished (or perceive as being punished) for being injured or hurt. Caring coaches can help gymnasts build back after injury - even stronger than ever.

A compassionate coach understands that fear and mental blocks are a part of life. Every high-level athlete got there by defeating fear or a mental block at some point. It’s part of life. Compassionate coaches work with athletes and build them up stronger so they can beat the mental block. They understand forcing an athlete, or threatening them, to do a skill will only set them back.

Compassionate coaches help gymnasts with mental blocks back up in the progressions and start from where they’re comfortable again. Backing up a few steps can help gymnasts gain control of the situation and begin to defeat their fear. It takes time, patience, and repetition to conquer fear and mental blocks. Compassionate coaches understand and work with athletes throughout.

Communication

What conversation about Trust and Gymnastics would be complete if we didn’t talk about communication? Communication is the third corner in the Four Corners of Trust.

Communication (or really, the lack of it) is one of the most significant, most common, and most persistent complaints I hear from parents of competitive gymnasts.

Why? Because most coaches and gym owners are in the business because they love to coach your child in the gym. Not because they excel at running a business and communicating with their customers.

Does that excuse the lack of communication? Absolutely not. But it kind of explains it more, doesn’t it?

Good communication from the gym and coach is imperative to building trust. Parents need to know exactly what to expect when to expect it, and what to do if it does (or does not) happen.

Good communication includes communicating about training levels, practice schedules, and meet schedules - ahead of time. Excellent communication should consist of an easy and persistent method of updating families - texting, social media, email, etc. A persistent way gets the information to them immediately but lets them choose when to access it.

Coaches should also communicate with gymnasts and families the skills they’re working on and the goals of the current training season. Great communication should include information about their personal training and strength plan to reach those goals. Obstacles (of any type) should be communicated with gymnasts and families so an action plan can be developed to solve the issue.

Gymnastics is infamous for last-minute meet schedules. Meet schedules are challenging to get together! Because of the number of gymnasts involved, the rules for each session, etc., it may be difficult to make a schedule work for everyone. That’s why they’re often released just a few weeks before a meet. But, sometimes, there is a gym delay in relaying this information to families. This can be frustrating for families trying to plan travel! An example of great communication from a gym includes the link to the host gym so you can keep an eye on the schedule release.

Great gyms also communicate clearly the expected expenses involved in competitive gymnastics. As you know, there are many! It’s imperative for trust that parents know what to expect to pay when they have to pay it and precisely what it covers. Excellent communication includes a reasonable amount of time to pay some of the more significant expenses.

Consistency

The final of the Four Corners of Trust is Consistency. We listed all the things a gym and coach needs to do to build trust. The last part of building trust is doing them consistently. To be trustworthy, coaches and gyms need to consistently show competency, compassion and communicate with families. It’s not adequate to do it for a short time and then revert back to old habits.

Now that we’ve discussed the Four Corners of Trust in competitive gymnastics, how does your coach and gym stack up?

No one (and no gym) is perfect. We are all striving (or should be) to be better - to do better.

Trust, But Verify

To trust your gym and your coach, they need to EARN it.

Trust should not just be freely given - that is dangerous to our children. As parents, it’s our job to ensure their safety.

How do we ensure trust is earned? By trusting - and verifying.

When a coach says a gymnast needs X score to move to the next level according to USAG rules, are they giving you the correct information? You’d be surprised (or maybe you wouldn’t be) at the misinformation shared about competitive gymnastics. Whether it’s from not keeping up with the newest rules or just not caring enough to verify their assumptions, incorrect information from coaches erodes trust.

When a new fill-in coach says a specific set of acro skills will satisfy the floor requirements for a 10.0 Start Value - verify it. There is NOTHING wrong with checking on the information you’re provided with. If your gym doesn’t like you to be informed - that’s their problem. Unfortunately, it is an ‘old-school mentality that gymnastics is secret. Some coaches believe no one, including (or especially) parents, should question coaches. Nope, sorry. As paying customers, parents absolutely should and will question their children’s coaches when something seems wrong.

I, personally, wouldn’t trust a gym or a coach that actively discouraged my gymnast and me from questioning anything. I could list hundreds of examples of coaches sharing incorrect information or providing improper techniques for conditioning. Coaches are human. They make mistakes. Some are great and will admit their mistakes and learn from them. Others aren’t so great. They will never admit they were wrong and will do anything they can to convince you otherwise.

I often hear, “my coach has my gymnast’s best interests at heart.”

Really? Do they?

How can they put your gymnast’s interests first when they have many gymnasts? What if two gymnasts’ best interests conflict directly with each other? They can not serve two sets (or many sets) of ‘best interests’ simultaneously. It’s impossible.

The ONLY person who may have your gymnast’s best interests at heart is YOU. That’s it.

Your coach has to balance your gymnast’s best interests with all of the other gymnasts they coach… and their level… and the team… and the gym… and their boss… get the point?

Does that mean your coach doesn’t love your gymnast and isn’t awesome? Nope! If you’re lucky enough to have one of those coaches - thank them. Tell them how much you appreciate their awesomeness!

And if you’re not lucky enough to have coaches like that - do what we always recommend when building a new relationship of trust.

Trust - but verify.

You need to believe they are reliable and will continue to do what they say they will do. You need time to trust them to do their job safely, effectively, and fairly. It takes time to build trust.

Trust them, but check on them. Ask questions, visit the gym, watch some practices, and then ask more questions. Keep communicating with your coach and your gym until you *know* you can trust them.

Keep verifying until you know you can:

• Trust the Process

• Trust your Coach

• Trust your Gym

Remember, Trust but Verify.